Real Joe

Grief and pain have their own duration, but when they begin to pass, you must take care to guide the shape of the new being you are to become. They reduce our lives to chaos, but in return they offer us a chance to rebuild our sense of values and meaning. – Kent Nerburn

I guess this is in part what happened to me last year. I was able to deepen what’s important in my life. In the post Sept. 11 world, I wonder if we’ll seize the chance to rebuild our sense of values and meaning as a country? We seem to be doing it in the short term, but will we sustain it?

How we respond to tragedy and suffering is a measure of our strength. – Kent Nerburn

I think I’ve handled the multiple medical crises in my family this past year pretty well. I don’t feel proud of that, though, just grateful. But I wonder how I’d do if it was ten times worse? If it had been my wife or kids in the WTC when it collapsed?

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. – Marcel Proust

I’m realizing this more and more as I go for walks by myself… just trying to notice details in the natural surroundings that I’ve been blind to in the past. But this quote also applies to a different definition of ’seeing’ — that being ‘understanding.’ I’m getting better at that, too, and it’s making all the difference.

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‘em, ‘Certainly, I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it. – Theodore Roosevelt

I’ve been most satisfied in my work when I’ve been interested in something enough to talk somebody into paying me to learn how to do it while I did it.

National Post: This triumph of the spirit belongs to men

More accolades from a woman journalist for the manly men in NYC.

I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do. – Helen Keller

Cool. Is this a religious or a spiritual belief? I think the former but I can’t quite articulate why.

Newsblog: Today’s DaveNet, Are Men Back?, is a reaction to the Peggy Noonan piece that I wrote about last Friday. I agree: gentlemanliness might be better characterized as just plain kindness.

I went biking yesterday with my daughter… this time, we went 17 miles on the Cannon Valley Trail, from Red Wing to Welch and back. This is a big jump for her, as our previous stint was just 5 miles. She’s still recovering from her second Scoliosis surgery — still wearing her back brace — so she’s not in very good shape. But her recumbent (a Rans Rocket) makes a huge difference in her comfort so she’s eager to ride longer distances and improve her endurance and strength.

We had such a good time together – a real memory maker for both of us. But what’s interesting to me is that it happened because I took an SOS walk.

When I woke up Sunday morning, I began struggling mentally about how to spend the day. Our motorcycle trials club had an event so I was thinking I’d go ride since I’ve only ridden one event this year. Or I could borrow my friend’s Beemer and scoot about the countryside by myself. Or maybe Robbie would want to rent a tandem recumbent, since we’ve talked about the possibility of buying one someday. Or I could just spend the day around the house, catching up on my reading, and then play some racquetball. I kept weighing the pros and cons of all these and couldn’t decide.

So I just decided to go for a walk in the Carleton Arb to see what would come to me. And what came to me after walking for about a half hour was going for a bike ride with my wife and daughter, but if my wife didn’t want to go, then I’d see if my daughter would go. Neither of them are big on physical exercise, and neither are inclined to go outside when the weather is nasty. So I’ve learn to adjust my expectations… just because I have what seems to be a good idea, doesn’t mean they’ll think so, and that in turn doesn’t mean that I need to be disappointed and bummed out.

I’ve done this a number of times in the past and discovered that by just taking some time to be quiet and put myself in a receptive frame of mind, a solution emerges. Every time. And many times, it’s one that I’d not even considered.

I call this “tuning in.” Is this a form of prayer?

My wife Robbie and I have discovered that we can have a lot of fun doing gourmet cooking together as a date. I’m clueless in the kitchen, but I’ve decided that that’s ok, she can teach and coach me, just like I do with her when it comes to computers and the Net.

Yesterday was our 3rd Saturday in a row doing this. We browse back issues of Cooking Light magazine together till we come up with a mutually agreeable main dish and a dessert. Then we grocery shop together and when we come home, we crack open a bottle of wine and get a little silly while we whip it all together over the next 2 or 3 hours. It makes for a romantic yet relatively cheap evening. Yum.

One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine with only interests. – John Stuart Mill

Unfortunately, our current world crisis shows that this is true even if the ends are not honorable or the means not justifiable.

On a microscopic scale, I’d like to think that my belief in what I’m trying to do with Real Joe has this kind of force. Grandiose? Sure, but why the hell not? It’s my vocation.