Real Joe

Thinking is when your mouth stays shuts and your head keeps talking to itself. - unknown

It bugs my wife Robbie when we’re arguing if I pause a long time before I say anything. She tends to think I’m doing a variation of the silent treatment, or that I’m being controlling somehow. But it’s been years since I’ve done either of those… I just tend to mull things over carefully when we’re arguing — sure, to plot my offense and defense — but moreso to examine what goofball ideas might be going on with me.

I’ve told her this but in the heat of an argument, it still bugs her. So we made an agreement a few weeks ago that when I go into mulling-it-over mode, I’ll try tell her that that’s what I’m doing. Problem: we seldom fight these days, so I don’t have much opportunity to practice. And it pissed her off again last week when we had an argument. So it’s both good news and bad news I guess.

Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all your energies on a limited set of targets. - Nido Qubein

Yeah. And I’m extremely eager to do this right now, but can’t. I might be close, but I don’t know for sure.

God is not neutral. – George W. Bush
We’re suffering from too many people invoking God on their side. – Barney Frank

The only time during the President’s speech last night that I cringed was when he said, “God is not neutral.” It might be momentarily inspirational, but it’s goofy. What side was God on during the Civil War? Or during our wars against the Indians? Or between the Hutu’s and Tutsi’s? Or the war between Afganistan and the Soviet Union? Or between the US and North Vietnam?

We best be asking God for guidance, and not assuming we’re right in everything we do.

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant. - Horace

Newsblog: In Crisis, Giuliani’s Popularity Overflows City

It’s interesting how a guy beset by personal troubles can rise to the occasion of leadership in a time of crisis. It’s not just his decision making, but how he’s displaying his emotions – grief and anger particularly — that’s commanding the respect of the citizenry and giving us hope.

I wonder if he’s learning something about himself? Or is he just on automatic pilot, reacting instinctively?

Newsblog: Boomers find desire to rally ’round the flag

I was surprised by my wife Robbie’s interest in getting a flag for our house after the terrorist attack. Nobody had any, of course, not even on the net, so she hung some red, white and blue streamers from a planter and taped up newspaper pages of a flag on the front door. I liked that she did it. And my daughter made some flag lapel pins out of beads and safety pins and I’ve been wearing one every day. It does feel good to feel patriotic. I just hope our military response is just and measured.

A guy I know sent me a note about this website that displays poignant pictures of people from around the world reacting supportively towards America. It’s strange to see it.

A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair. – Samuel Johnson

It occurs to me now that I’ve got a couple of friendships now that are need of repairs… or at least rejuvenation. Shit.

I’m a little more at peace today, having sent off the RJR CD. If I get run over by a truck, I’ll die knowing that I’ve done what I could to give life to Real Joe and that it now has a respectable chance of living on after me. This has been true for a while, of course, but the act of physically putting the CD in the mail is a deliciously tangible milestone.
I’ve helped make a contribution to the world as best I know how, stayed true to my values, enjoyed the process, and kept balance in my life while I worked on it. I’m a lucky guy, no matter what happens from now on.

You’re entitled to the joy of work, you’re just not entitled to the results. - Larry Brilliant

I mailed a CD of V3.0 of the Real Joe Radio Show demo to public radio folks today. There’s been enough water over the damn since the terrorist attack to think that they can give this some attention. Tomorrow, I’ll follow up with an email and we’ll semi-fake a voicemail from the Guv.

I’m really pleased with it. I had no idea it would take this long — I remember thinking we could get it done by Memorial Day — but I’m glad we went for quality instead of expediency. And the joy of work? Couldn’t have been much better: interesting, hard, fun, satisfying, great teamwork.

So I’m trying not to pray for results that I think would be best, but rather for guidance on whatever comes next. Besides, with our world in crisis, it seems even more ridiculous than usual to pray that my will be done for my little world.

I was surprised last week when a business owner I know told me privately that Real Joe has had an impact on him recently. And another guy in town said he really liked what I wrote about my imagining I was about to die and what I’d say to my family. He even referred someone else to it.

I love hearing this, of course. It confirms that there’s a genuine need for what I’m doing, that Real Joe can matter to guys. And it also creates an incentive to keep working on this, not for my own sake, but for theirs. And oddly, for Real Joe’s sake.

I read Stephen King’s book On Writing last month. He talked about getting into a mindset where the book writes itself, or maybe more accurately, where he has to discover what the story is that wants to be written. It’s like a sculptor who sees their job as removing the material so that the piece can become what it wants to be.
I’ve not read of anyone thinking about their business this way, though I’m sure it’s been done. But until now, I’ve not thought of Real Joe in this way. It’s more consistent with “discovering my mission” to think that this concept of Real Joe has “come to me” and it’s my job to discover what it wants to be and help it become that.

I just had this daydream of someone interviewing me about Real Joe a few years out. I told them that my ego’s view of it was that I thought of it, I created the company, I’m the leader, I’m the visionary, etc. Another way to look at it is that the idea was planted in me, that I’m following what seems to be my calling, that I’m trying to discover what Real Joe wants to be, that I’m trying to be a damned instrument of peace. And it’s a constant battle between these two views. My ego wants credit, and I know that unless I stay in shape mentally and spiritually, it’s likely to undermine common sense, wise choices, good intentions, and the energy and wisdom of others. And things will likely go to hell in a handbasket pretty darned quick.

Back to the present. Pay attention today. Listen. And then there’s no need to worry.