Real Joe

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. - Henry David Thoreau

It occurred to me while I was walking in the Arb yesterday that I never see anyone walking by themselves. I see plenty of runners, people walking their dogs, couples, but no solitary slow walkers. I’m just waking up to this form of SOS but surely there are lots of others in town who’ve discovered it.

It also occurred to me that my life seems to go better when I take time to walk, that I need to think of it as important as taking my vitamins and exercising and flossing my teeth. It reminded me of Polly Berrien Berends saying that you needed to pray three times per day, just like eating. I’ve started taking a stroll along the Riverwalk in the morning while drinking my breakfast drink, about 9 am or so. And I’ve been asking Robbie to walk more in the evenings with me. Maybe when Robbie’s gone in the evening, I should ask Gilly to walk. In another week, though, I’ll be asking her to go biking, as she’ll have her recumbent. Still, walking slowly is different, so I best not think of biking as a substitute. Maybe I better do it a few times before her bike comes.

One never believes other people’s experience, and one is only very gradually convinced by one’s own. - Vita Sackville-West

Of all the people I’ve talked to over the years who’ve read the book “What Color is Your Parachute?”, I don’t think there was anyone who actually did the exercises. I’ve prided myself on doing them several times.

This week, it occurred to me that I’ve had the book “Sports Pysching: Playing your best game all of the time” for over twenty years, but I’ve never really done the exercises as suggested in the book. I’ve been doing them lately and my game’s improved markedly. But I’m humbled by how I’m no different than most people when it comes to learning from someone else’s experience.

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. - Laura Ingalls Wilder

I’ve gone on several walks by myself in the past week, and I’m enjoying it more and more. Last night I walked our dog along a cemetary, taking in the golden light of a gorgeous sunset. Occasional distracting thoughts crept in, but I’m getting better at giving them a gentle boot.

Today, it’s cloudy and threatening rain, more difficult to go for a walk and experience the same sense of contentment. But I plan to do it anyway.

Over the weekend, we attended the wake and funeral for our friends’ 17 year-old daughter who was killed along with her boyfriend on a motorcycle last week. He missed a turn at high speed at night.

The rituals for a death in a midwest farming community seemed to do much to aid the grieving and healing for both her family and the community. The long line of mourners, with each person talking to her parents in view of the open casket. The displays depicting her school, church, and community involvement. The readings and music at the funeral service. Individuals placing flowers on her casket over the grave. Doves released into the sky.

I prepared myself for a cornball eulogy from the Lutheran pastor, but he nailed it. God allows suffering but he doesn’t cause it. A curse on anyone who says that God called her home. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Lots of personal anecdotes. His own grief was evident but he kept a lid on it, so as not to distract from his message: reach out to God for help with healing.

This tragedy hits close to home, beyond just knowing the family. I have a 15 year-old daughter. One of my sons almost died in a car accident at age 17. And yet I really have no idea what it’s like for her parents. I admired the way they handled themselves at the wake and funeral. Openly weeping one moment, laughing the next, absorbing the outpouring of community love, and returning it with gratitude. I don’t know that they’ll be fine, but it sure appears so. Still, I wonder how this will change them.

Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it’s too late. - Rita Coolidge

Another quote jumps out at me, telling me I’m being too cautious about the Real Joe Radio Show demo. I wonder.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the
bitterest. - Confucius

Wisdom can be learned by imitation? I guess so. Reading about people’s choices, experiences, learnings, reflections, etc. can influence me, so that seems to be a form of imitation. But I wouldn’t describe learning by experience as necessarily ‘bitter.’ If it’s paired with reflection, it’s probably the best way. Sit at the feet of one’s life and learn from it.

Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all your energies on a limited set of targets. - Nido Qubein

I’m starting to worry about this. I have to focus on activities that earn me an income right now - doing public policy web forums. But I can feel my energy for Real Joe slipping away at times, and I’m bothered by this. I don’t know what to do just yet. Other than listen for direction.

On course doesn’t mean perfect. On course means that even when things don’t go perfectly - you are still going in the right direction. - Charles Garfield

The list of finalists for the KeepWalking.com fund were finally published today. No real surprise: I’m not on the list. So I’ll wait till they announce the deadlines for the next round and try again with a different twist on it.

It still seems that I’m on course with Real Joe, in that I’m persisting. Things are not going perfectly, that’s for sure.

To the degree we’re not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves. - Peter McWilliams

I’ve been telling myself that this whole adventure with Real Joe has been out of my comfort zone, and I still think that’s true. But I also wonder now, having been into it for over a year, whether I’m now in a comfort zone with it that I need to break out of. What might be a bold step? I’m not sure, but I’m going to think more about this.

I just found out that the 17 year-old daughter of one of my wife’s best friends was killed on motorcycle last night, along with her boyfriend. And the wife of guy I play racquetball with lost her baby yesterday… she was due in two weeks. Her mother was killed on a bicycle a year ago. And her father died of a heart attack a few years before that.

All I can think of is that this is a perfect example of when bad things happen to good people. I wonder how they’ll handle it. I wonder if there’s anything I can do to help.

More of same: Newsblog: Boy drowns in Clearwater Co.; family’s other two children drowned in 1998