The phrase “my faith is being tested” comes to mind as I struggle with our financial situation, but I’m not sure that’s quite it.
I’m trying to keep this thought going through my head: “I don’t know how this will turn out but I’m confident it’s going to be good if I pay attention, rely, ask for help, and keep learning.”
It could be that our financial situation will get a lot worse and that will be good somehow. I think of all the people in the world who’ve reflected back on their ‘darkest hour’ and who at some point, went on to a seemingly good outcome. This is my ‘darkest hour’ with Real Joe so far. It may get darker. I have no way of knowing.
But this is small potatoes compared to the challenges others are facing today. I could be a dad who’s wondering how to feed his family today. I could be fighting a war and wondering if this’ll be the day that I die. I could be a dad in prison, with years to go before I spend a holiday with my family. I could be struggling with depression, considering suicide. And on and on. Instead, I’m a pretty healthy guy, with a wife and kids who love me. I’ve got a very nice house in a great little town and I’ve got marketable skills that can bring us a decent enough income. So I shouldn’t sweat my small stuff.
I’m in a financial crunch of my own making, but it’s not due, as far as I can tell right now, to foolish, ego-centric decisions. I’ve worked hard to determine what I’m being called to do and how to get there. I could be way wrong on the strategy but I don’t think I’m wrong on the overall mission.
So I’m willing to try new strategies, since I made an agreement with my wife Robbie that we not go into the hole financially on this and it’s important to me that we stay happy together. Is my vocation more important than my marriage? No. There may be times in a person’s life where the needs of the community or world are more important than their family life, but this ain’t it. If I have to get a regular 9-5 job and do Real Joe part-time, it’s not a big deal. If it hadn’t been for the dotcom boom, I probably would’ve started Real Joe while holding a FT job anyway.
So I’ll keep plugging away and try to keep coming up with other ways to skin this cat. Am I still relying? It feels like it. I know something good will come out of this. Something good already has, as Real Joe has taught me a lot, both as an entrepreneur and as a man.
Hmmm. I’m sitting here at GBM writing all this and in walks a local guy who’s a broadcast producer. It occurred to me a while back to contact him for help with my proposal but he never responded to my Real Joe business plan so I figured I’d just pass. I waved him over to my table and told him what I was up to and whether he’d have any time in the next 24 hours to help me with it and he said he could today after lunch. Cool. I wonder if this is one of those so-called spiritual synchronous coincidences that James Redfield and others talk about. No way to know, I guess. Just keep relying and working at listening and watching for signals.