A local paper has started carrying Jan Denise’s column, Naked Relationships. Despite the tease of a title, I’ve never read it — something about women’s advice columns that, uh, makes me avert my eyes — until I saw the headline on one a week or so ago: We can say yes to affection without saying yes to sex
“My wife gives me her cheek when I go to kiss her — unless she’s ready for sex, as though that’s the only time I want to be close to her.” Hmmmm. How often do we turn down affection because we’re not ready for sex? And, how much more frequently would we want to have sex if we didn’t turn down affection?
I liked the column. It took me a long time before I figured out my wife’s complaints about how I confused her with my affectionate-turned-sexual gestures.
But there’s one thing she misses — the pleasure of exchanging small sexual flirtations without the expectation that things will go all the way.