I saw this on a billboard for The Grand Hotel in Minneapolis:
Does for her what lingerie does for you.
Clever. And true. My wife and I learned awhile ago that getting away from the house and kids, even for just a night, was a major deal for her. And I learned that the more I participated in the preparation — logistics with the kids, packing, household cleanup — the more relaxed and romantic she felt once we did get away. And I learned to not object to her wanting to “check in” by phone to see if all was well on the home front.
When I was growing up, my dad was always jealous of my mom’s desire to spend more time with her mother and aunts. And he was even more jealous once grandchildren came on the scene. The more troubled their marriage, the more she gravitated to her kids and grandkids, the more he objected, the more he felt threatened, the more he became threatening, the more she distanced herself from him, the more she punished him. It became an ugly spiral that at times sucked in both me and my wife and our kids. Her neediness and his nasty jealousness drove a wedge between us and them.
We could never afford a night at a ritzy place like the Grand Hotel when the kids were home, but we did find $25-40/night specials. And when that was beyond our budget, a night in a tent or at a friend’s empty house was just as effective.