audblog audio post Part I
audblog audio post Part II
Transcript:
I’ve been listening to a set of audiotapes called Mental Toughness. Yesterday, the sports psychologist told a story about a professional tennis player he worked with who came to him for help because he had a dismal record in tiebreakers. The prescription: say “I love tiebreakers” 25 times a day and make a little sign to put up on his mirror. The tennis pro thought this was ridiculous. “I hate tiebreakers. How the hell is lying to myself 25 times a day going to help?” But he did it anyway and after a few weeks, he won a couple. He didn’t believe that the strategy was making a difference until one day in the middle of a tough match he realized he’d been saying to himself, “If I can just get to tiebreaker, I know I can beat this guy.”
It occurred to me after listening to this tape that something similar has been happening to me. Quite a few years ago I admitted to myself that I was basically selfish, just like my old man. No guilt trip, just an acknowledgement that “Okay, he was a selfish bastard and this apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree.” Somewhere along the line it occurred to me that whenever I went out of my way to do something for my wife, I’d jokingly say to her, “I’m such a thoughtful husband.” She’d laugh and kiss me sweetly nearly every time, so, like a lab rat, I’ve kept it up, and even started doing the same thing — “I’m such a thoughtful father” — with my teenaged daughter. It seems to be making a difference. I’m not exactly St. Francis of Assisi yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m less of an asshole than I used to be.
I’ve always thought that affirmations were a stupid, new agey technique. The affirmation bullshit generator on my Real Joe web site gets constant traffic: click the button and it generates phrases like “Today I will embrace my perceptual wisdom” or “Today I will manifest my interrelated essence.”
But now I’m not so sure, and since I’m making progress on some relaxation and concentration techniques — I’ve had a very good week of racquetball — I might as well give it a go. “I am mentally tough.” I’m not, of course, I choke all the time and get nervous very easily but the idea is to act as if, so maybe I’ll try that.
What about this problem I have about not being disciplined in my daily schedule? How about, “I love being disciplined!” Ah, no, that’s not quite it… makes it sound like my wife and I… well, you get the idea. Maybe, “I live a disciplined schedule.” Closer. I’ll try it till something better occurs to me.
That’s it for today, March 14, 2003. I’m Griff Wigley for Real Joe. Important stuff. Plain talk. Ordinary guys.