Funny stuff from The Onion… and from what I remember of these as a kid, pretty close to the truth, too: All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale
“The seven deadly sins—avarice, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, pride, and wrath—were all committed Sunday during the twice-annual bake sale at St. Mary’s of the Immaculate Conception Church…. The sin of lust also reared its ugly head at the bake sale, largely due to the presence of Melissa Wyckoff, a shapely 20-year-old redhead whose family recently joined the church. While male attendees ogled Wyckoff, the primary object of lust for females was the personable, boyish Father Mark.”