Robbie and I have the whole day and evening alone together today. We need this, as I’ve been so preoccupied with my dad, my sister, and the business in the past two weeks, we’ve drifted apart a bit… nothing serious, just not as affectionate as we’ve been.
Plus, I screwed up on the Freeze-Your-Buns-Tour two weeks ago and that brought back some old hurts/memories for her. She thought I was going to back into town and check in with her around 3 pm or. I had it in my head that I’d check in with her when I returned the Harley at 4:30 pm. I had my cell phone with me, but I never bothered to check it (she’d called several times), plus it didn’t occur to me that she’d be worried with the rain front moving in.
The Harley shop had called her, as they were trying to reach me as well to tell me it was ok to not bring the bike back since the weather was bad. So she was additionally worried and then pissed when she called the shop back, only to find out that I’d called the shop to let them know I’d be late returning the bike. So once I called her from the shop, she was livid, having worried herself sick for a few hours, certain that something had happened to me because of course I’d call.
I was in a type of ‘zone’ I guess. It was not at all a rebellious “I’m out with the boys, don’t bother me” type zone that I used to get in–one that landed us in marital therapy about 15 years ago when I took a day off work to ride my friend Jim’s motorcycle all day without telling her… just like my dad used to do. Plus, we’ve had many arguments over the years about the amount of time I spent riding Observed Trials.
So I understand why she had a bad reaction this time, even though I wasn’t in the same place mentally. I just really have to be careful about me and motorcycles and my relationship with her, because of our history around them. I’ve apologized several times since then, but it’s not something that’ll change with talk. I know that I can’t “talk myself out of something I’ve behaved myself into.” Hey, now there’s a Joe to Go quote I can use.