I can imagine having a Real Joe syndicated newspaper column someday. I’d be happy, right? I also can imagine that the day would come when I’d write a column which would generate 2,300 emails, most of them hateful, and some threatening. Would I still be happy? Maybe not.
Such is the case with columnist Jacquelyn Mitchard who chronicles the reaction to her opinion piece on pit bulls in last week’s Breaking a vow of non-silence column. Mitchard’s reaction will probably make the situation worse for a while, as she’s taking it personally and indicating it in her writing. It adds fuel to the fire.
I’d guess the vast majority of her nasty emails are from guys, though she doesn’t say so. She doesn’t seem to understand what a mean-looking (sounding? acting?) dog can represent for some us. It’s not all that different than a mean-looking car (loud pipes), a bad-ass motorcycle (my lifelong preference), a foul-smelling cigar, or any one of a thousand other things that we use sometimes to partially define our manhood. Danger is often part of the equation with these items. It’s both genetic and cultural and part of the dance that connects us to other men while defining our differences from women.
So Jacquelyn: 1) No need to take it personally. I’m not excusing the personal attacks, especially any guys who actually threatened you — not only dumb and wrong but a crime. And I understand it must be hard to break a 20-year vow. But the Internet makes nasty email easy to send, something you couldn’t have known when you made your vow. 2) Nasty email writers are not usually nasty people. 3) Try to understand the deeper significance of the nerve you touched. Maybe write a column about what in life women use to partially define their womanhood that would upset them if a man suggested that they do without. 4) Be happy. There are a lot of aspiring columnists out there who’d love to have the influence and impact you have with your column.