“I play racquetball to win. That is, I play with all the speed, strength, and concentration I can muster, short of injury or severe exhaustion. It might seem that playing to win is identical to playing as if I must win. A little thought reveals they are quite different. I play to win, but I have just as much fun whether I win or lose… wanting what you have means playing to win without feeling that you must win… Playing as if you must win spoils the game of racquetball and also spoils the game of life.” – Timothy Miller
I lost my first round match last Friday night in our club racquetball singles championship. But I can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun. My opponent was a guy I play frequently, a guy I like and enjoy playing. We had a small crowd watching us, cheering and razzing. And we were giving each other good-natured shit (“You miserable bastard!”) when one of us would make a great or lucky shot. I was up 14-7 in first game, then went into a tentative shell and he ripped off 8 straight points to beat me 15-14. I didn’t play terrible during that stretch but it was a choke, nonetheless. I didn’t get down on myself, though, and game two was a classic back and forth battle which I won 15-13. I really felt like I had the momentum and confidence to take the tie-breaker but he served really well, I tightened up a little, and he beat me 11-6. I was still happy, though. It was competition at its best — a real memory maker.
Saturday’s 1 PM match was a repeat – another opponent I know and like, a small crowd, lots of laughing midst the balls-to-the-wall competition. I played even better — about as well as I can play – and won both games. I was in the groove and felt confident I’d still be in it for my 4 PM semi-final. I’m gonna win this sucker and go all the way! Not. I started slow and the more I kept thinking “Why can’t I get back in the groove?” the crappier I played and the better my opponent played. Aarghh. I lost both games and that was it.
My problem has never been so much that I must win, but that I must play well, look good, be respectable at least, and win when I should win. I’m getting better at letting go of this but it’s still my Achilles heel. Oh, well, it’s just AFOG – Another Freaking Opportunity for Growth.