Death ends a life, not a relationship. – Morrie Schwartz
It’s pretty plain to me this week that my dad’s troubled life has been and continues to be primarily shaped by his relationship to his parents, even though they’ve been dead since the 60s. It’s not as helpful to think of this as their “influence” on him. It’s much better to think of it as his current thinking about himself in relation to them.
Same for me. I’m realizing that I’m hanging out at his bedside, in part for him (he needs physical care) but also for me. I’m changing my relationship to him in my own damn head, even though he’s oblivious to me most of the time. Morrie’s quote has me starting to think of this time with him as preparation for the ongoing relationship that we’ll have after he’s dead. Cool.