I stayed at the hospital till about 6 last night. Dad kept improving throughout the afternoon, gradually communicating a little more, and even eating a full liquid dinner. I told the nurse we needed social services to get involved since my parents aren’t able to come to any agreements about money or selling the house, let alone making any kind of living will or funeral arrangements. So I got a meeting set up with the doctor, chaplain, social worker on Thurs.
It’s weird, but I found myself able to be affectionate with him, which surprised me. I could cradle his neck, stroke his bald, scarred head, hold his hand, and massage his tense shoulder muscles. When I left, I kissed him on the forehead and said “I love you, Dad” and he said “I love you, Griff” back.
I made my piece with the old bastard several years ago and even though he still preaches and judges and puts me down, I’m able to somehow let it roll right off my back. It’s just so apparent that he’s afraid and dependent and hung up on a lifetime of emotional garbage that his nastiness has no sting anymore. I found myself even empathizing with my mother, who I generally have a much harder time with than him.
So, it should be an interesting week. I thought I’d be upset that all this is happening now, right while I’m trying to get Real Joe launched. But it occurred to me that there’s nothing I can do about the timing, so just do what needs to be done and make the best of it.
I wonder what else I’m going to learn this week?