Thinking is when your mouth stays shuts and your head keeps talking to itself. – unknown
It bugs my wife Robbie when we’re arguing if I pause a long time before I say anything. She tends to think I’m doing a variation of the silent treatment, or that I’m being controlling somehow. But it’s been years since I’ve done either of those… I just tend to mull things over carefully when we’re arguing — sure, to plot my offense and defense — but moreso to examine what goofball ideas might be going on with me.
I’ve told her this but in the heat of an argument, it still bugs her. So we made an agreement a few weeks ago that when I go into mulling-it-over mode, I’ll try tell her that that’s what I’m doing. Problem: we seldom fight these days, so I don’t have much opportunity to practice. And it pissed her off again last week when we had an argument. So it’s both good news and bad news I guess.