Newsblog: A Father Feels the Weight of His Son’s Sins
Timothy McVeigh’s father is quoted in an article in today’s NY Times as saying, “How can you forgive him for killing 168 people? You can’t. He’s my son, but he did something that was terribly wrong.” (The StarTribune version deleted many important pieces),
It struck me as odd for the reporter to ask if he’s forgiven his son, as if his son’s bombing was directed at him somehow. And then I wondered if it was. This solid-citizen father — church-going, flag-waving, community volunteer — still clearly loves his son. But it’s evident from the article that the expression of it was probably not something he knew how to do while Tim was growing up. Lack of fatherly affection doesn’t directly cause children to grow up to become killers, but it’s not a stretch to say it can be a contributing factor.
Bill McVeigh is not at a point where he’s able to consider his mistakes and shortcomings as a father. If he did, he might have asked his son for forgiveness. And who knows, that might have reached inside Tim’s heart and soul, allowing him to admit that the bombing was a horribly wrong thing to do, and apologize before he dies. His victims’ families, especially those who want to watch his upcoming execution, might have a much easier time dealing with their grief.
I now I wonder what difference it would’ve made if my dad had apologized to my mother, sister, and brother before he died? I got one from him a few years ago, but I worry that he’ll remain a negative force in their heads because he never apologized to them. And I don’t think they’ve forgiven him. I think I have, but I don’t know that I ever be completely sure.