Car Talk’s web site has a listing of the top 5 chick cars and the top 5 guy cars. Problem: the Neon is #5 in the chick category (VW Beetle is #1) and I drive a Neon. My ego and image are suddenly at stake here. The founder of Real Joe can hardly be seen driving around a chick car, can he?
I think I can rationalize my way out of this, though.
1) It’s a Neon Sport, a much more masculine looking model than the others.
2) It’s black. No neon colors. This quote hurts though: “Even in black, they are feminine and adorable, only just a bit tougher, like Tattoo Barbie.”
3) It’s old. I bought it in the summer of 1994 when Neons first came out. It now has 185,000 miles on it.
4) It’s reliable. I’ve had virtually no major repairs on this car. I’m still on the original clutch… no small feat considering that all 3 of my sons learned to drive with this car.
5) It’s a five-speed and it’s fast. When these Neon Sports came out, they could go from 0 to 60 faster than any other Chrysler made car except for the Viper. It’s still fast, too, enough to satisfy the sports car driver in me.
6) It’s a piece of shit. It’s got dents and scratches and rust everywhere. I rarely wash it. It’s not been waxed since 1996.
So I like this car. It’s got history, it’s got character, it still runs great, and it’s cheap. Phew, I feel better.