We know that people we love are both good and bad, but we expect strangers to be one or the other. – Russell Banks
Elaine Sluti, the mother of the kidnapped girl who was released by fugitive Anthony Zappa, reportedly said that her heart goes out to Zappa’s family. Now that’s a classy remark to make. It’s easy to think of Zappa or other violent felon as dirtbags through and through. But Sluti has compassion, if not for Zappa, at least for his family. Zappa’s mother loves her son just like Sluti loves her daughter and she knows that his mother has had years of heartbreak and problems of all kinds… and more on the way.
Consider Slobodan Milosevic, war criminal in all likelihood. Or Timothy McVeigh, about to be executed for the Oklahoma City bombing. The people who’ve known and maybe loved them have likely seen the good in them.
I’m not arguing for an outpouring of compassion for these guys, nor am I arguing against the death penalty. I’m just doubtful that an outpouring of hate is helpful, for us as a society or even for the relatives of their victims.
And it reminds me that there are plenty of people who I tend to see as simply good or simply jerks. Maybe even Elaine Sluti has a nasty side. And Nelson Mandella. And I wonder who sees me as simply wonderful or as simply a jerk.