Playing as if you must win spoils the game of racquetball and also spoils the game of life. – Timothy Miller
It was interesting to stumble on this from Miller’s book “How to want what you have.” It’s from a chapter where he explores the nature of desire and the “must have” aspect to it. More:
“I play racquetball to win. That is, I play with all the speed, strength, and concentration I can muster, short of injury or severe exhaustion. It might seem that playing to win is identical to playing as if I must win. A little thought reveals they are quite different. I play to win, but I have just as much fun whether I win or lose… if I ever felt that I must win, all the fun would be instantly destroyed.”
I played the best racquetball match of my life last night, in game one of our local club’s annual singles championship. I lost in the tiebreaker, 11-9. It was one of those rare times when I was really into going all out on every point, and my opponent was likewise.
I knew early in the match that I was playing near my ability, and my confidence and concentration kept building. As our match went on, we drew a small crowd of other players, and for the first time in my life, I experienced what it’s like to play better by feeding off the rooting and clapping of an audience. In the past, it’s always made me more nervous. This time, I kept my nervousness under control with the breathing and muscle relaxation rituals in between points, and each time play resumed, the crowd disappeared from my consciousness.
It was pure exhilaration. I did everything I could to win, but it didn’t bother me in the least to lose. I’m not even sure that winning the match would have made things better, as I’d probably would’ve paid more attention to the victory and less to the joy of what I’d just experienced. I’m going to savor the memory for a long time.