Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes the ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. – Albert Schweitzer
There’s a guy who works at this place where I’m doing a consulting gig who seems particularly irked by my being there. He’s curt, ignores my emails, and seems to go out of his way to avoid talking to me. I’ve learned that many people have conflicts with him, so it’s not just me, but it’s clear we have a problem and I’m not sure how to approach dealing with it. I can’t let it go since his work responsibilities have a direct bearing on what I’m up to.
I don’t know what kind of kindness I could show him. Maybe just phoning him or stopping by his office and asking for some time to chat. It occurs to me now that I should first try to think a compassionate thought, much like the Joe to Go last weekend about the maniac driver. This guy actually wants about the same things that I want for the company and their customers. He seems to really care deeply about quality. He’s tried some things, it’s not worked, he probably feels bad about that, and has a hard time admitting it. I know what that’s like. I can surmise from some of his comments in a meeting that he likely feels unappreciated for his work and he seems to take that out on others, making it harder for them to show appreciation. I can understand that, too.
So I’ll just let these thoughts frame my attitude as I think about ways to approach him. I may fail, and it may be that no matter what I do, it won’t matter. Either way, there’s something to learn.