Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away. – Arthur Helps
My wife is naturally kind. I’m not. I grew up pretending to be kind for the special attention it got me. I’ve pretty much given that act up, but I’ve not replaced it with any real honest to goodness kindness.
But I did a somewhat kind thing this week. I had to force myself to do it, because it took some extra time and a small amount of money. But I knew it was a good thing to do and that I would appreciate it if someone else did it for me. Yet I couldn’t escape the trigger reaction from my childhood that I was somehow pretending to be kind, that I was wondering who would notice and what they would think of me. In the past, this awareness of phoniness and the desire to impress, plus my own natural selfishness, has been enough to put a halt to any actions. But not this week.
I just had this funny thought that my dad approves, now that he’s been dead for two months. He was never big on kindness, but he’s now in a place where he can see the error of his beliefs. I don’t actually believe it, of course, but this is one of those times where the emotions trump logic.