It’s been about a month now since my wife Robbie was diagnosed with a brain tumor. (See the Friday, July 28 paragraph at the bottom of the I pray. But not like that. article and the Aug 13 weblog entry.) I think one of the things she’s worried about is how this whole thing might affect our relationship, emotional as well as our sex life. Based on my past behavior, I understand why. I used to pretty much ignore her whenever she was sick. Nurturing is not my strong suit, for lots of reasons that I won’t go into now.
I shudder to think how I would’ve handled this had it happened ten years ago. We’ve been increasingly in much better shape relationship-wise for the past several years, and so I’m more than a little grateful for the timing. I’m confident I can do much better, but I’ve learned to not get too cocky. Old habits die hard.
She’s been gone for all but 5 or so days out of the past 30 (two trips to NYC for my son Tyson’s surgery, one to Orlando for her business). When she was around, though, we seemed to fall into a pattern: the more nurturing I was, the more affectionate she was, and vice versa. She said she really appreciated all the non-sexual physical affection from me.
I wonder if she knows how much her verbal appreciation and small displays of affection mean to me. I guess I’d better tell her.
Could it be that this medical crisis will be good for our relationship? Man, that would be something.