My son read my weblog entry about him from yesterday and told me that he didn’t think I should feel responsible for his problem of occasional angry outburts. He said he thought it was more a result from him being bullied in middle school and high school. I told him that I was also bullied during those years at school but that I thought it was in part due to the intimidation I experienced from my dad. Since I, in turn, bullied and intimidated him at times when he was little, then I have contributed to his problem.
That’s a pisser, but that’s how this generational stuff works if you’re not paying attention to the clues that life leaves laying around. I need to be careful with my daughter about this. She cries easily when either my wife or I get mad at her and I have a tendency to say to her in a stern voice “Why are you crying?” which, now that I think about it, is an intimidating thing to say. I remember getting into a small fight with a kid in high school and he could see me trying to hold back the tears and so he kept taunting me, “C’mon, why don’t you say something? Talk to me! You can’t, can you? Hah!”
Interesting. The more I keep trying to see, the more clues keep popping up. I guess I’d better have a talk with my daughter about this and apologize. Maybe I can teach and encourage her how to stand up to me respectfully.