We like someone because. We love someone although. – Henri de Montherlant
I think this could be a confirmation of why the Eulogy I wrote for my dad is right for me. I can’t really say I liked my dad. He was too hard to be around, preaching and disparaging. And likewise, I don’t think my dad liked me very much because he was always criticizing me, trying to change me, and rarely initiated contact with me.
But when I think about those good things I’ve gotten from him, they collectively say that he loved me. And I think that if he could reflect on all the efforts I’ve made to connect with him, he’d have to agree that they collectively say I loved him.
So having confronted him over how he hurt me, having lost my fear of him, and now having forgiven him, I can feel my love for him, even though the disliking remains.
[Strange coincidence. I was flipping through one of the daily meditation books that I use for finding interesting quotes and this one caught my eye. I typed it up, and went back to read the author’s thoughts about the quote. I glanced up to see the date on the page: March 27. That’s my dad’s birthday. Weird.]