Robbie read the first draft of my Eulogy to my Pappy. She wondered, if I read it out loud at our family gathering next week, whether the family members who are still mad at him will be offended by it, that I’m somehow making him out to be a saint and a great father, denying the pain that he caused people.
I tried to address this a bit in the first couple of paragraphs of the eulogy, but maybe it’s not enough. I don’t even know yet, though, if my mom and brother will want to have a ceremony after Mass next week, so I may not even get to read it in the presence of anyone else. So I’ll check with them and if so, tell them about the eulogy and offer to let them read it ahead of time and get their reaction.
It’s odd, though. I actually got this idea of listing ways that my dad has positively affected me from my sister who sent me email on the day he died, mentioning some of the good things she got from him. She’s been estranged from my parents for 10 years and is not planning to attend the services next week. But I’ll still ask her if she wants to read it.
I’m trying to figure out whether doing this is a genuine response to the prayer ‘make me an instrument of peace’ or whether it’s my own agenda and mistaken thinking somehow. I’m listening.