Notice my peacemaking please

I got in the middle of a conflict between a local unit of goverment and a group of local citizens over a public policy issue. I’m on the board of a community network that has web tools at its disposal for conducting public policy discussions and gathering feedback. The citizens group believed that government was controlling the public input process in unfair ways.

I wasn’t very familiar with the issue, but I knew that this was a perfect opportunity to “bring government to its knees” and show them the power of a networked citizenry, with our little non-profit at the center of attention and me as ringleader. Power! Recognition! Fame! I relished the thought of it as I explained the situation to my wife and kids and some of my fellow board members.

But a little something in the far reaches of my brain kept nagging me and when I sat down for my morning SOS (shot of solitude), I electronically stumbled on my “prayers I can relate to” section in my PDA and saw the first line of St. Francis’ Make me an Instrument of Peace prayer.

And I knew there were some things I could try to diffuse the conflict. A few phone calls and some email exchanges and I had one of those win-win agreements (I hate that phrase) in place. When one of the citizens asked me how it happened, I joked that “I used my charm.” But later, when telling my fellow board members about it, one of them pointed out that the government’s change of heart was probably due to the intervention of a certain public official. I agreed but my ego took an immediate hit.

And so when I sat down to reflect on all this, it became crystal clear that as the day progressed, my “make me an instrument of peace” prayer had development an ego-orgasmic addendum: “Make me an instrument of peace and then make others be impressed with my peacemaking.” Insidious shit, this mistaken thinking.