I spent lunch and much of the afternoon with my mother and brother. My mother alternated between being sad and angry… I can’t go into the details here but I kept trying to just listen and wait for something to inspire me after quietly asking/praying “How can I be an instrument of peace here?” At some point, it just occurred to me to talk to her about my ongoing struggle to have a relationship with Dad, and how my marriage as well as my relationship with her was affected by this struggle. She seemed to understand why I’ve been so distant.
She hasn’t decided yet on what kind of service to have, as Dad specified a ‘private service’ after cremation. First, though, is an autopsy to see if they can figure out what happened to him. I’d be surprised if they come up with anything other than ‘natural causes.’