Stuart Greene’s Sex & The Married Man column for the December issue of The Rake is available: End of Discussion: Why are married women afraid to talk about sex? Here’s my letter to the editor:
Stuart Greene accurately describes the polarization that exists in a many a married couple’s sex life. Sure, it happens in part because we’re wired differently. But it also happens in part because of a pattern that develops, a downward spiral from those days of heated passion when both partners were usually as interested in each other’s bodies as their souls.
Over time, the more us guys tend to neglect the emotional stuff, the more our wives tend to neglect the physical stuff, the more we tend to neglect… and pretty soon, our respective positions become entrenched.
I’m guessing that’s why Stuart’s pals Pete, Don, and Ben are stuck in boredomland. They’re at the point where they don’t go out of their way on the relationship stuff and their wives sure as hell aren’t going to go out their way to make a trip to the toy store.
Fortunately, downward spirals can gradually be reversed by each going out of our way. The more I… the more she… the more I….
And at some point, it might occur to us guys that we do like to be desired in lots of ways besides our studly ways, and to our honeys that they do like plumbing adventures as much as the Oprah stuff.