Stuart Greene’s column in the Nov. issue of The Rake is must-read: Dancing With Myself: Why must married men continue to abuse themselves?
“… the water was rushing, a scented candle, a little bath oil, things were swimming along nicely, I must not have heard the door open, and there was my precious staring in horror at my private moment.”
Yep, that’s happened to me. And yes, I too still take matters into my own hands once a week or so, even though I’m getting to be geezerly. Sometimes my rationale is simply prevention of blue-balls syndrome, which I seem to get after about five days of chastity; other times, it’s just a little fantasy indulgence. And the latest medical research, as Greene notes, is that more frequent ejaculations help prevent prostate problems. What more rationale do I need?
All of that is not likely to change what’s taught in sex ed programs for kids, however. Dumb dumb dumb.
For a good chuckle, visit World Wide Wank’s Random Masturbation Synonym Generator for little gems like “Working a cramp out of Pedro.” And on the same site, read Mark Twain’s Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism.