The new issue of The Rake has an interesting piece titled, Should Married Men Go to Strip Clubs? by Stuart Greene.
I agree with most of what he says.
Men are duplicitous scumbags. That doesn�t stop when they get married.
Behaviorly I’m less so than earlier in my marriage, but basically, yeah, my brain still harbors a neanderthal.
Married men know that life is good when they officially play by the rules of the fairer sex. However! This does not mean married men think entirely chaste thoughts or that they don�t have a rich fantasy life or that they don�t bend the rules in private.
Yes on the first two, but I currently don’t “bend the rules” in private. One of my sons asked me a few months ago when’s the last time I went to a strip joint — he’d just been to a couple of them as part of bachelor’s party/stag night. I told him that it’s been about 30 years… I can’t remember if it was before or after I got married, but I do remember that I was in love with Robbie at the time.
Me, I try to avoid it, because I�m a horrible liar and the wife has ESP for this kind of mischief.
This is true for me as well, but there’s more to it. A year or so ago a guy I know said to me that he was getting more and more uncomfortable going to strip clubs because his daughters were now the same age as many of the strippers and it was ruining his fantasies. That’s not quite true for me yet, but there is this troubling thought that does go through my head: these women ARE daughters of men my age and I’d be horrified if my daughter did what they’re doing.
I know in my head that many (most?) of the women are troubled — they’ve likely been sexually and/or physically abused, if not by a relative than by someone they’re currently in a relationship with. So it would feel like I’m egging-on the abusive men for my temporary benefit.
Another troublesome aspect: I know that if I spent money visiting a strip club, I’m basically placing an order in the pipeline — adding money to the economic engine that fuels men to convince more girls and women to participate — which is bad for all involved, not unlike the celebrity babe who buys a coat made from the fur of an endangered species. Of course, this is also true for the porn mag/video industry and I can’t claim innocence here, as I’ve purchased/rented my share of Playboy merchandise over the years.
Now, you�re going to ask why the married man is not satisfied with viewing his own lawfully wedded wife in the buff, and there is no good rational answer to that. All I can say is that more seems to be better.
Yeah, visual variety is compelling. Which is why keeping things ever-changing in the marital romance department is a biggie.
Don and Pete are good, decent, upstanding, sensitive men who make great and loving spouses, and they�re tired of feeling guilty about wanting to see more naked women more of the time. They argue that it really is all about visual stimulation�nothing more�and that it has no real or at least bad effect on their relationships with women.
Maybe. I think the problem is that it becomes too easy to rely on it as a way to get your jollies, rather than putting energy into figuring out how you and your wife can get more jollies with each other.
Case in point? Powerball winner temporarily loses $545,000 outside strip club.