In Salon (premium): Because I’m the mother: My son hates church, but I make him go anyway by Anne Lamott.
“Of course he doesn’t want to come to regular worship — it’s so naked, built on the rubble of need and ruin, and our joy is so deeply uncool — but by the same token, he doesn’t want to floss, or do homework, or weed. He does not want to have any hard work, ever, but I can’t give him that without injuring him. It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life.”
We made our kids do uncomfortable stuff, too, but church wasn’t one of them, basically because neither my wife or I liked going. If we’d look for and found one that suited us, we probably would have made them go. Looking back, there’s a part of me that wishes we’d looked a little harder. I think as long as it wasn’t hypocrisy, we all could have benefitted from a little more spiritual discipline, exposure to some religious traditions, and the community/neighbor outreach activities.
Since Lamott is a solid, sane Christian — a Jesus freak, in her words — and can easily the enumerate the benefits to her attendance and involvement with her church, she has the right idea when it comes to asserting her parental authority and making her son go:
“So why do I make him go? Because I want him to. These are bewildering, drastic times we live in, and a little spiritual guidance never killed anyone. And I think it’s a fair compromise, that it’s only every other week. Also, I make him go because I can — I wrote a piece about this years ago, about why I made him go to church, and this was the main reason. And I still can. He has no job, no car, no income. He’s basically a freeloader. He needs to stay in my good graces.”